I Don’t Wanna… Or Do I?

My husband and I found ourselves in the car, by ourselves, after a work event. During the event a speaker talked about his wife’s willingness to pick up and move with him around the world for his career, kids in tow. He┬ámentioned this to me, saying how happy he was that I felt the same way. Which is when the alarming feeling began.

When we got married I insisted he move to Pittsburgh for me. Central PA had limited job opportunities in my field and I needed a larger market, so he dutifully moved. After spending years in a dead end county job he went back to school, got a new degree, and started looking for a new job. I was pregnant with Sassafras when he started. At that time I was willing to follow him wherever we needed to go. Although I wasn’t too excited about moving while pregnant (I’ve done that once and it was only 20 minutes away) or birthing my daughter in a new city, I was willing. I wasn’t wedded to my job anymore and I felt like I could make a living online now, whereas 10 years ago that wasn’t a possibility.

He found a great new job right here in Pittsburgh, so we carried on. I became more and more unhappy in my dead-end government job, and was more than willing to pick up and move as needed. My husband works for a global company, so new positions open up all over the place, giving him many more opportunities.

Enter my current job, which I found after years of looking. I love it. My son goes to a new, wonderful school because of it, and my daughter will too. The commute is wonderful. The people are wonderful. I never want to leave.

Back to the night in question, when he brought this up. The new director of his regional department stopped in his office and talked to him about his future in the company. When the director asked him if he was willing to move, he said yes. HE SAID YES!

I’ll be honest, I panicked just a wee little bit. I didn’t say anything at the time, but all night his words echoed in my head.

I don’t want to move. I don’t want to pull my son out of his school. I don’t want to leave Pittsburgh, our home, our community, our friends, our family.

I didn’t say anything to him. But that night, as I went to bed, I worried (I am an excellent worrier). I fretted. I got scared.

I continued to worry for a few days. I envisioned him accepting a new position, coming home and informing me that in a month we were moving. To Nebraska, or Texas, or Ireland (which is his dream actually). I would have to quit my job, pull my son from his school (again), take my daughter out of day care and uproot our family.

I finally talked to him about it. He reassured me that A. he would never accept a position without talking to me first (which, for the record, I KNEW, but was still freaking out about it) and that B. this was not currently on the table, who knows when there will be a new position open that he’s qualified for.

So, I stopped freaking out. Then I started thinking.

Would it really be so bad to move? The things I am most worried about are my job, my kids’ education and moving far far away from everyone and every place we know.

Job – I would hate to leave this job, but if I could work from home, I would like that. I freelance on the weekends and evenings, but it’s hard to focus on that with two young kids.

School – This would be a huge sacrifice. My son’s schooling is tied to my job, so even if we ever move back, he won’t be able to continue at his current school. That said, this school, as wonderful as it is, doesn’t mean he won’t be successful if he has to go somewhere else. There are good schools all around the world, we would just have to find the right one.

Moving Away – I love Pittsburgh and want to stay here, but part of me thinks it would be great to try a new city, a new culture. Until I got this job, moving away was something I was willing to try.

So, since there is no definite, I am trying to be positive. This could be an exciting adventure for my family. It would be good for us to really focus our family and stick together through a new experience.

Have you moved? How do you handle it? What about your job, your kids, your community? I’d love to hear your experiences.

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